


A Killer's Monologue

by ThornStone8773



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Zero-One
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Angst, Father-Son Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, No Romance, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23826241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornStone8773/pseuds/ThornStone8773
Summary: Have you ever wanted to kill somebody?
Relationships: Fuwa Isamu & Horobi, Horobi & Jin (Kamen Rider Zero-One), Horobi & Naki (Kamen Rider Zero-One)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	A Killer's Monologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> A/N: I strongly advised you read this while imagining Horobi with dark hair.

Have you ever wanted to kill somebody?

I have.

I loved the thrill of the chase as my would-be victims ran for their lives. I loved their frightened faces at the realisation that they were cornered. Their struggles against my hold and their pained scream as I delivered the fatal blow. The feel of warm bloods on my hands never failed to draw a smile on my face.

Yes, I understood. You all think I was sick. I thought so too, for a while. The sense of morality taught to me as a child screamed that my desire was wrong and unacceptable, and it was right. If the public found out I killed people for fun, my parents would be ridiculed and alienated from society, so, for their sake, I held in my twisted desire, no matter how unbearable it was. When the urge to kill hit me, I tried to distract myself with other things. I even resorted to self-harm to restrain myself from killing. Every day was a struggle that left me empty and worn out, making me wondered if this how drug addicts felt as they went through a withdrawal.

Then, in a University I attended, I met two people who changed my life, Fuwa Isamu and Naki. The siblings bravely lived their life by their own rules, not constrained by society, as long as it made them happy they did not care what other people thoughts, which was the reason why I admired them.

So I decided to emulate them.

The first people I killed were my parents. If they were dead, they did not have to live with a humiliation of raising a worthless child like me. I tried to be gentle, making sure they did not feel any pain, still, it filled me with immense sorrow to see them died and I cried like a baby afterward, which probably why the police had me released as a suspect. I did not enjoy this kills at all, but it was necessary.

I killed only when the urge hit, so there was no pattern except for the weapon I used linking the victims together. I was not a serial killer who killed people to mock the police, but many people seemed to think otherwise, including Fuwa Isamu, who now worked as one of the junior detectives in the team responsible for my case.

I would not call the Fuwa siblings and myself as friends, we were closer than acquaintances but I tried to keep my distance from them. I was careful to cover my track, but Fuwa Isamu was a good detective and soon or later, he would find out I was the killer he was looking for. When that day came, I wished to spare them from pain as much as possible.

Then, on one rainy day, I experienced another life-changing event.

I was in my small one room apartment, working on my computer while bundled up under my futon, trying to ward off the cold when, suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. I reluctantly got out of my warm cocoon and opened the door only to find a small baby left on my doorstep, shivering inside a cardboard box without a blanket to preserve his modesty let alone keeping him warm.

Like any sane person in my situation, I scooped the baby up and brought him inside to get warm, then called Naki to buy some baby needs and formulas, which Naki obliged without questions; they would get the answers once they arrived anyway.

Judging by how small he was; the baby appeared to be a newborn, barely a few weeks old, from how he emptied the bottle of milk I fed him in a matter of minutes, it was possible he had not eaten in a while. The police did not receive report for a missing child, and considering the severe neglect this child had suffered, I doubted his parents wanted him back, so I decided to take care of the child until Naki’s social worker friend could find a good and stable family for him. Besides, I enjoyed his presence in my life, to see him grew strong every day, laughed at the funny faces I made, cradled him close to my chest and rocked him until he stopped crying gave me a sense of satisfaction that not even killing was able to bring.

Speaking of which, it had been six months since this child came to my life that I did not experience an urge to kill. Then again, the child had taken a lot of my time; I barely had any left for anything else. I might even quit my job if not for the fact I needed it to provide foods and clothes for the child.

I could not deny it, I have grown to love the child and it was obvious the child had become attached to me, adopting him was a natural course of action but… I hesitated… no, actually, I was scared.

It was inevitable that my crime would be found one day. I was ready to take full responsibility of my action, be it a lifetime in prison or death penalty, I would not complain. However, with this child in my life, things were different now. I did not want to leave him alone. He had been abandoned one too many times in his short life and I determined not to become like his parents. I wanted him to grow up knowing, even though the world was a cruel place, kindest still existed.

…. and as a person who could easily took people’s life away for fun, I was not suited to teach this child kindest.

I did not deserve to be his father.

The next day after I had this revelation, I took the child to the Fuwa resident and asked Naki to take care of the child from me. After giving him one last kiss, I went to the police station and surrendered myself for my crime.

As expected, Fuwa did not take the revelation well and had to be restrained by his co-workers before he could throttle me. The anger and betrayal in his eyes when he asked me ‘why?’ was too painful to see.

‘’Because it was fun.’’ I answered simply, truthfully.

Afterward, without words, he stomped out of the interrogation room. That was the last time I saw him before I served my penalty in prison. Naki visited me almost regularly, telling me how the child, whom they named Jin, was doing while showing me pictures and videos of him. Fuwa appeared on most of them, and it was obvious that Jin looked up to him as father figure.

I could not help but envied him, but I was glad Jin had someone he could rely on.

Fuwa definitely made a better father than I was.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading.
> 
> English was not my native language. I apologised for the grammars, awkward phrasings and tenses you encountered while reading this.
> 
> Please, tell me what you think. Helped me improved my skill by sharing your thoughts through comments.


End file.
